Why I Don't Cook So Often Disastrous Example No. 1

Delia's Giardiniera Pickled Veg (except they're my dad's now)

Yesterday was a harsh but just reminder of why I cook so infrequently.

It was my dad's birthday on Monday. For my birthday the week before, dad travelled up to London from Manchester and bought me a lovely dinner and afternoon tea at Claridges, not to mention countless Martinis.

Though I clearly have mentioned them now. I hate that phrase. It's also funny that I am remembering not to mention them, because at the time I obviously couldn't remember even having drunk them, or I would have stopped at one (perhaps two).

For dad's birthday I bought a card which slipped out of my hand into a letter box just as I read the collection times, which would not deliver it on time.

As I can't afford to buy any of the absurd almost-retired man in his sixties toys he no doubt wants, I decided to make him some pickled vegetables with my own fair hands.

I thought this a splendid idea. He likes pickled vegetables and is very greedy, and they are expensive. This way he could just paw at them straight from the jar at snack time without getting a rollocking from mum that they are intended for some occasion or other.

That was until I told mum, who didn't agree it was a splendid idea. But she never does.

I'd been having a poke through Delia's Italian Collection, which has some good recipes but has been surpassed over the last decade by a much better and truer approach to Italian cooking in this country.

You'd think she wrote it before everyone knew what parma ham was (and before everyone called it prosciutto) and when little balls of buffalo mozzarella were still a novelty. Yet it was first published in 2004.

But let's not forget Delia introduced us all to balsamic vinegar. She has anglicised some of the dishes to make them easier for us, and for that I salute her.

The tomato sauce on p39 is a gloopy winner, a true Italian-style pasta sauce.

The baked mushroom risotto on p81 is a very rich treat and not tricky at all. Even my mum has made it, she who "can't be faffed" standing and stirring risottos.

The reason she made it was because it doesn't require stirring. I would recommend giving it a good stir for ten minutes as you bring it to the boil with the Madeira and mushrooms before putting it in the oven to bake, to get your rice cooked evenly.

Nevertheless this is a good introduction to some Italian classics and more than detailed enough for any cook not overly pedantic about provenance and authenticity. It avoids ingredients you can never find, and is in big print with big piccies.

See -

Giardiniera (Italian garden pickles) is recipe numero uno, and a complete doddle.

Get an aubergine, half a fennel bulb, half each red and yellow peppers, 50g button mushrooms, 100g red onions and 100g courgettes and chop into the sort of chunks you'd expect to see in a large jar of pickled veg.

Layer into bowls sprinkling salt between the layers. Cover with water then a plate with a weight on it. Leave in a cool place overnight.

The next day get hold of two 500ml storage jars. I found this classic design at John Lewis.

Now sterilise them.

For anyone who is not a regular steriliser, may I suggest REMOVING THE RUBBER SEALS BEFORE PLACING IN A HOT OVEN?

For anyone who sees fit to dismiss my advice, may I suggest dousing the partly melted rings in cold water immediately WITHOUT SPLASHING THE COLD WATER ALL OVER THE HOT JAR AND CRACKING IT?

Otherwise you just wash and dry the jars, pop them in the oven for at least five minutes, then they're done.

Here are my jars, sitting pretty in the oven with their rubber seals.

This pic was proudly taken before I realised how dumb dumb very dumb I had been.

Drain the veg well, drying on a tea towel, then mix in a bowl with three cloves of garlic, sliced and a few handfuls of cherry tomatoes.

Pour a thin layer of white wine vinegar into each jar then drop in a bay leaf, sprig of thyme, sprig of rosemary and a few black peppercorns. Add some veg and carry on, pouring in vinegar and the odd sprig of herbs as you go, until your jar is full and the veg packed well down.

Label when they're cold. Wait one month before eating, and consume within three (in total).

Tomorrow I'll be on the 9am from London Euston with these beauteous jars of picked veggies and my latest batch of red velvets (one for mum, if she's not rude to me about the veggies first, the rest for the hen do I'm heading for).

Dad can't work a computer, so he'll never know.